Don't Even Try It

Sculpture by BJ Lasponas

Why does dream chasing incite some of the strongest feelings of fear you've ever felt? Maybe it has something to do with chasing the unreasonable. Pursuing a reality that the present has very little, if any, evidence that others would connect the points together to imply the dream of which you speak about ... or, don't speak about enough. Open your mouth about you being honest with yourself about yourself, and I swear that everybody in the world knows more than you do about what's possible, and what isn't. I suppose it's why many successful people necessarily had to be perceived as some mess of crazy if their paths weren't from some position of exceptional opportunity. But, when a crazy person succeeds, the pieces come together and people might swear that they understood the inevitability.

Hindsight is 20/20.

There must be some self-deception about the odds of the future--the persistence of the irrational idea that despite all that you have not accomplished, you will become great. In fact, a podcast on Radiolab WNYC touched upon a study on winning swimmers and found that winning swimmers were most likely to deceive themselves in their preparation phase before the race as compared to those swimmers whom were honest with themselves. But, is it really lying to yourself when the future has not elapsed yet? I get the sense that the future is something like Schrödinger's cat except with many more possibilities than just two. Though, all the possibilities can be summed up under two major systems: Either I will succeed, or I will fail--and, until I explore that future I am simultaneously a success and a failure.

At this moment, I'm basically starving for any sense of fearlessness from anywhere. So, this song by Colbie, though not about pursuing your life's passions in the same sense I am currently obsessed with, hits a nerve as the energy of the song captures that moment of strength and vulnerability: to be brave enough to believe in what reasonable people would never allow enough risk to believe. (Not too mention she can take some stress off of the eyes.) I am still a step behind her process. I am still wanting to jump, and her work is a capture of the moment where she's already suspended in the air. My toes are off the cliff..